Being chased by a book

It’s been a bit remiss of me not to post much lately, but I have been reading, studying and meditating quite a bit. And, in fact, I feel as if I’ve been persistently chased by a book. Let me explain. Maybe ten years ago, I read a book called “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Pranahansa Yogananda. I quite liked it but I didn’t really get everything it was telling me. It was a bit “out there”. Now, about a year ago, I was reading a book called “Letting Go” (not sure how I found it) by David R. Hawkins and it had a big effect on me. This book also referenced “Autobiography of a Yogi” a few times, so I got that out again and read it once more. Wow, now I get it. It certainly feels like there’s a force behind our world that is trying to get messages through in any way that it can. And that force certainly wanted me to read “Autobiography of a Yogi” and to really get the message behind it.

Letting Go

This book, “Letting Go”, by David R. Hawkins, is the easier place to start. One of the main premises of the book is that we are creating our own emotional suffering through resistance to feelings that arise. He talks a lot about “surrender” which means to allow an emotion to come up and not judge it, just be aware of it, experience it and then let it go. Once this is done often enough, the feelings in question tend not to come up any more and we do not experience emotional suffering.

Basically, once we act on a feeling that arises, we lock it in and create anguish for ourselves. Let’s take the common feeling that we are “not good enough”. If we act on this, believe it, think we have to perform certain actions to make it go away, or accept it as a fait accompli, then the emotional trauma begins. The feeling is not a truth (not for anyone) and it actually has no value. If we can simply observe it without judging or acting on it, it simply goes away.

David warns heavily against trying to repress such feelings, and using other reactionary techniques like projection and escapism, as the feelings will always come back and maybe come back with greater force. Simply by surrendering and letting go, all such feelings will fade away.

The sense of the word “surrender” here is not of defeat, but of liberation. Being unattached to feelings that tempt us but actually have no value is the way to serenity, clarity and unconditional love.

This is where the link to Paramahansa Yogananda comes in, as his life was all about serenity, clarity and unconditional love. And, he certainly never created attachments to any negative feelings.

Autobiography of a Yogi

I would advise people to only read this book if they are ready to be really challenged. I think most people will get part way through it and say “bah humbug!” and toss it aside. That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You may not be ready for this book and you may not ever be ready. Maybe I’m wrong in my feeling that there’s a lot of truth here. I hope I’m not. For some reason, most of the radical concepts in this book ring loudly true to me. “Autobiography of a Yogi” was originally published in 1946 by Paramahansa Yogananda.

Main concepts I captured from Autobiography of a Yogi

Most religions are, in essence, the same
- The fundamental behind most religions is the existence of an infinite spirit (using the term God can be polarising – infinite spirit might be a better term)
- The great religious figures, like Jesus, Mohammed, Krishna, Buddha, etc., are all highly developed souls that are tightly connected to the infinite spirit
The aim of our lives is to re-find the infinite spirit
- To do this we have to realise that worldly attractions are not actually satisfying
- We have to renounce many of the things we seem to like about life
- This resonates a bit with the “Letting Go” concept
- Meditation allows us to disconnect from all the distractions in the world and give space to connect with the infinite spirit
Reincarnation is part of the deal
- It usually takes many, many lifetimes to shed worldly desires and re-find the infinite spirit
- At the end of each life we take karmic tendencies (good or bad, depending on how we have lived) into the next life
- Part of our duty is to work out all of the bad karma we are carrying
What we see as the world is not actually real
- The only thing real is the infinite spirit
- We are derived from the infinite spirit (a bit like how waves are derived from a vast ocean)
- Everything (yes, every single thing) is derived from the infinite spirit
- What we see as the real world is really something more like a dream or a movie in which we are actors
We are like “prodigal children”
- Following Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son, we are all like prodigal children
- We are in the world, distracted by things we think are fun and exciting, not knowing that the most exciting and fun thing of all is waiting for us at home with the infinite spirit
- The infinite spirit is patiently waiting until we realise the error of our ways and make our way back home, and then the infinite spirit will celebrate with excitement

Much of this correlates with thoughts I’ve had from a young age. One religion can’t be right and all others wrong. If something is going to be eternal and infinite, it must be just one thing. More than one thing can’t exist eternally. There must be a single spirit behind us all. We are all the same in every way that matters.

What now?

Now, I’m led to re-evaluate everything that I thought was fun and important in this life. Is it really satisfying, or is it an illusion? Actually, if I take time to be still with myself and analyse these things and think them through, most things in this world are not satisfying. They are really illusions.

I’m learning to enjoy stillness and quiet and learning to calm my mind better during meditation. At times, when I do this well, a sense of peace and security ensues and this feels really satisfying. Also, this seems to promote the flow of inspiration, and I can analyse myself and decide to leave bad habits behind. I suspect this is the correct path for life.

One thing I’m struggling with is avoiding over eating. I see that I have a strong tendency to over eat even though I know it’s not satisfying (long-term) and not healthy for me, yet I’m still compelled to do so. Calmness and meditation is helping, but this is a hard habit to conquer.

So, after being chased by a book, and eventually being grabbed by the content of the book, I feel like I can see better what is necessary in life. Things are making some more sense. I feel like I’ve been lost, distracted and confused about life for a long time, but now the path is more clear and I feel a growing sense of oneness with the infinite spirit behind everything. I hope I keep refining this focus on the correct path and not get too distracted or confused again. It’s not going to be easy.